Sorry to interrupt your sleep Robert Sheckley

Last night I had a very strange dream. An unfamiliar voice said:

- Sorry to interrupt your sleep, but I have absolutely urgent business with you. Only you can help me, no one else.

I dreamed that I answered:

- There is no need to apologize, the dream was still so-so, and if I can help you with anything...

“You, and only you,” said the voice. “Otherwise, I and my people are doomed to death.”

“Oh God,” I said.

His name was Froka, and he belonged to a very ancient family. Since time immemorial, his fellow tribesmen lived in a wide valley surrounded by giant hills. They always lived peacefully, according to exemplary laws, and raised their children with love and leniency. They even had their own outstanding artists. And although some of them had a weakness for strong drinks, and sometimes - although extremely rarely - someone died a violent death, they considered themselves kind and worthy of respect, thinking beings who...

“Listen,” I interrupted him, “maybe we can get straight to the point, your urgent matter?”

Frocka apologized for the verbosity, but explained that in his world, every petition must be preceded by an extensive statement of the moral merits of the petitioner - this is the existing norm.

“Okay,” I reassured him. - Let's get down to business.

Frocka took a breath and began. He told me that about a hundred years ago (according to their ideas of time), a yellow-red column of unprecedented size descended from the heavens. She landed in the third largest city, not far from the Monument to the Unknown God at the city hall.

The column was an irregularly shaped cylinder and was two miles in diameter. Contrary to all the laws of nature, it suddenly rose up and became inaccessible to instruments, then again sank to its original place. Then they tried to influence the column with the help of cold, heat, bacteria, proton bombardment, any acceptable means, finally - all to no avail. Full of terrifying majesty, she stood motionless for exactly five months, twelve hours and six minutes.

Then, for no apparent reason, the column began to move in a northwest direction. The average speed was 78.881 miles per hour (according to their idea of ​​speed). It plowed the surface over an area 183.223 miles long and 20.011 miles wide before suddenly disappearing.

To study this incredible event, a symposium was held, to which all the luminaries of science were invited. In the final document, they stated that this event cannot be explained, is unique and most likely will not be repeated in the future.

However, exactly a month later it happened again, this time the cylinder landed near the capital. Making frequent, erratic movements, it moved 820.331 miles from its landing site. The damage caused was enormous, it was beyond any calculation. Several thousand lives were lost.

Two months and one day later the column appeared again, and this time all three main cities were hit.

Now it has become clear to everyone that an incomprehensible and perhaps incomprehensible phenomenon poses a threat not only to the lives of everyone individually, but also to the entire civilization as a whole, and puts the entire people on the brink of death.

Naturally, the thought of a possible tragedy filled the souls of citizens with despair. The wave of general hysteria was replaced by a wave of general apathy.

The fourth strike was carried out east of the capital in a desert area. The damage was minimal, but panic arose among the people, real panic, as a result of which many committed suicide. The situation has worsened to the extreme. Along with the true sciences, pseudosciences were called to help. Any theories and proposals were considered, no matter who put them forward - be it a biochemist, fortune teller or astronomer. They even seized on obviously crazy ideas, especially after one terrible summer night the beautiful ancient city of Ras, along with two suburbs, was completely destroyed.

“Sorry,” I interrupted him. “All this is, of course, very sad, but I don’t understand what kind of help you expect from me.”

“I was just about to get to that,” the voice answered.

“Then continue,” I allowed. “I just advise you not to drag your feet too much, because it seems like I’ll wake up soon.”

“My role in this story is quite difficult to explain,” Froka continued. — I am an accountant by profession. However, I have a number of hobbies - in my spare time, for fun, I develop ways that expand the capabilities of our brain. Recently I was experimenting with one chemical element, we call it "cola". It has the ability to induce deep enlightenment...

“We also have such chemicals,” I interjected.

- So you understand me! So, while traveling - this term should be familiar to you - being, so to speak, under the influence of the drug, I suddenly saw and understood... a revelation descended on me... But it is so difficult to explain.

“Nothing, nothing, be brave,” I hurried, “let’s get to the point.”

“In general,” said the voice, “I realized that my world exists on many levels - on the atomic, subatomic, in vibrational planes, it has countless levels of reality, and all of them are an integral part of other levels of existence.”

“I know that,” I said, starting to get nervous. “I recently found out that everything you said also applies to my world.

“So,” Froka developed his thought, “it became clear to me that one of our levels is under external influence.”

- And to be more specific? - I asked.

— In accordance with my hypothesis, the intervention occurs at the molecular level.

- Amazing! - I exclaimed. - So, were you able to identify the nature of this interference?

“I think so,” answered the voice. “But I don’t have any proof.” All this is purely intuitive.

“I myself believe in intuition,” I encouraged him. - So share your thoughts.

“Now,” the voice said uncertainly. - In a word, I came to the conclusion (purely intuitively) that my world is a microscopic parasite on your body.

— Express yourself more clearly, please!

- Fine. I have discovered that in one aspect, in one plane of reality, my world exists between the knuckles of the index and middle fingers of your left hand. It has been there for several million years, according to our chronology. Of course, for you it’s only a few minutes, I don’t have any evidence, and I, of course, don’t accuse you of anything...

“Nothing, nothing,” I reassured him. “So you are saying that your world is located between the knuckles of the index and middle fingers of your left hand?” Wonderful. And how can I help you?

- You see, I don’t know if my guess is correct... I assumed that recently you needed to scratch your hand right in the area where my world is located.

- Scratch your hand?

- I suppose; that's it.

“And you think that the huge reddish column that brings destruction and death is one of my fingers?”

- Exactly.

“And you want me to stop itching.”

“Only near this place,” the voice said hastily. “I’m terribly embarrassed that I have to turn to you with such a request; I’m doing this only in the hope of saving my civilization from complete destruction.” Please excuse me...

“No need to apologize,” I stopped him. — Thinking beings should not be ashamed of anything.

“Thank you for your kind words,” the voice thanked, “After all, we, non-human parasites, have no right to demand anything from you.”

“All thinking beings should stick together and help each other,” I said. “Here’s your word of honor: never until the end of my days will I scratch between the knuckles of the thumb and index finger of my left hand.”

“Index and middle fingers,” he corrected.

“I won’t scratch between the knuckles of my left hand at all!” I solemnly swear to you this and promise that while I am alive, I will not break my word.

“Sir,” the voice said excitedly, “you saved my world.” No words can express the extent of my gratitude. And yet I will say that I am immensely grateful to you.

“Well, what are you saying, it’s not worth it,” I said. The voice finally stopped and I woke up. Remembering the amazing dream, I opened the first aid kit and bandaged the knuckles of my left hand. I’ve been walking with a bandage for a whole week now and, despite the urge, I don’t itch my left arm or even wash it.

At the end of next week I will remove the bandage. I figured that, according to their chronology, this would provide them with complete peace for twenty to thirty billion years, which is quite enough for any civilization.

But now I'm worried about something else. The fact is that recently I had some kind of intuitive sense of danger. The reason is an earthquake in the San Andreas Fault area, as well as renewed volcanic activity in central Mexico. In general, when I compare these events, real fear seizes me.

Therefore, excuse me for interrupting your sleep, but I have absolutely urgent business with you. And only you can help me - no one else...